Jesus Christ in the Teacher’s Lounge

“My summer? It was alright. I did 40 days and 40 nights in the desert. It wasn’t actually as peaceful as it sounds.”

“We almost ran out of grape juice today at snack. Anybody else’s room parent seem to be missing in action? I had to fly by the seat of my pants.”

“The morning group had a big argument about line leader. I ended up telling them the real line leader is the one at the back of the line.”

“No more field trips to the farm. You ever witnessed a herd of demonic swine drowning itself in a pond? My kids are traumatized.”

“I’ve got administration breathing down my neck. Had a surprise observation yesterday. Of course, they popped in right when Mary spilled an entire bottle of perfume all over my feet.”

“Anyone know a way to get ahold of 100 sheep? I need them for a lesson I’m teaching Monday. Even 99 would work. I know it’s last minute. I could teach the lesson without, but it’d be fun.”

“Do you think I’d get in trouble if I brought in some old wineskins for a lesson I’m doing?”

“Eye injury? I always tell my kids just rub some dirt on it.”

“I had a miracle today. Hudson actually picked up his own carpet square.”

“Whenever I talk about motes and logs, my class just sits there and stares at me. All they want to talk about is fishing. Doesn’t anybody’s parents teach them about woodworking anymore?”

“I don’t think they’ll let us back in the botanical gardens. A kid in my morning group found a sword and chopped off a security guard’s ear. He’ll be fine, but still.”

“A kid in my morning group betrayed me for 30 pieces of silver. On top of that, the room parent knew about it and didn’t even stop him.”

“Last week was murder. Killed me. I was laid out all weekend. Didn’t even do anything until Sunday.”