The Little Red Hen Gets Vaccinated

One day, the Little Red Hen was going to town to get vaccinated against a deadly disease. On her way out the door, she saw Dog doing research on his computer. The Little Red Hen said, “Dog, why don’t you come to town with me and get vaccinated against the deadly disease?”

Dog answered, “Are you crazy? My research tells me that the vaccine will plant a microchip in me, make me magnetic, and change my DNA. I won’t get it.”

The Little Red Hen went outside and saw Cat talking to Goose. The Little Red Hen said, “Why don’t you both come to town with me and get vaccinated against the deadly disease?”

Cat said, “My immune system is fine just the way it is. I trust it to fight off any virus that comes my way.”

Goose said, “I don’t care if I get sick. It’s a 99 percent survival rate.”

“Then I will go get vaccinated myself,” said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

Three weeks later, the Little Red Hen was going to get her second shot of the vaccine. She said to Dog, still doing research on his computer, “Why don’t you come with me to get vaccinated against the deadly disease?” 

Dog answered, “I can’t. I’m too busy buying zinc, Vitamin E, and hydroxychloroquine from a third party seller on Amazon. Those will protect me from the deadly disease.” 

The Little Red Hen went outside and saw Cat and Goose. She said, “Come with me and get vaccinated against the deadly disease.”

Cat answered, “I won’t. I don’t know what’s in the vaccine.” Then she took a swig of her 5 Hour Energy drink.

Goose said, “We don’t know the long term effects of the vaccine yet. I’m holding off.”

“Then I will go get vaccinated myself,” said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

Two weeks later, the Little Red Hen was getting ready to go out for dinner and a movie unmasked in town. She saw Dog sitting at his computer and said, “Would you care to join me for dinner and a movie in town?”

Dog answered, “Sure, I’d love to!”

Outside, they ran into Cat and Goose. “Would you care to join us for dinner and a movie in town?” asked the Little Red Hen.

“Yes, indeed!” exclaimed Cat and Goose. 

As they walked into town, the Little Red Hen said, “I think you all should mask up since you haven’t been vaccinated yet.”

“I’d rather not,” said Dog. “Masks take away my freedom.”

“Masks make me breathe my own carbon dioxide,” said Cat.

“The mouth is the window to the soul,” explained Goose. “And you know me. I’d just as soon lay my soul bare.” 

So, they all enjoyed dinner and a movie in town, unmasked.

One week later, Dog, Cat, and Goose were lying in hospital beds, sick with the deadly disease, talking to the Little Red Hen on iPads. 

“I’m sad because I can’t have any visitors in here,” said Cat.

Goose said, “There are risks to everything in life. When it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go.” Then her iPad dropped to the floor, her heart monitor flatlined, and she joined the over 622,000 Americans who succumbed to the deadly disease.

“How come you still get to have your freedom?” Dog asked the Little Red Hen.

“Who went out and got the first dose of the highly effective vaccine?” asked the Little Red Hen. “I did.”

“Who went out and got the second dose of the highly effective vaccine?” asked the Little Red Hen. “I did.”

“Who went out for dinner and a movie in town unmasked, knowing that the vaccine provides effective protection against the virus?” asked the Little Red Hen. “I did.”

“Who became saddened and enraged when cases of the deadly disease began to spike again, and now it feels like we’re headed right back into the thick of the pandemic because people didn’t get vaccinated?” asked the Little Red Hen. “I did.”

Then the Little Red Hen put down her iPad, put on her mask, and walked into town by herself for dinner and a movie. She tipped her server 25 percent.

The end.