Hot Knife, the Hottest New Pandemic Purchase

If you’re like most people at this point in the pandemic, you’ve made up to one million grilled cheese sandwiches. That’s a lot of bread, butter, and cheese!

But when you’re making a grilled cheese sandwich, do you ever try to butter the bread and accidentally destroy it because the butter is cold, hard, and impossible to spread?

Not anymore! Introducing Hot Knife, the new patented technology that will make your bread buttering problems melt away!

With Hot Knife, you’ll never shred your bread again. Hot Knife will meet all of your bread buttering needs!

Hot Knife slices right through cold butter, even butter straight out of the fridge! Look at that smooth, creamy texture. Look how the butter blankets beautifully over even the softest, thinnest, most brittle bread!

Hot Knife will leave your bread whole and intact so that when you’re making a grilled cheese, the cheese stays inside the sandwich instead of melting out onto the pan, creating a hot, sticky mess. Say goodbye to pan scouring and scrubbing. Say hello to Hot Knife!

For three easy installments of $19.95, we’ll send you your very own Hot Knife made of the highest quality stainless steel. 

How does Hot Knife work? First, you have to heat it up. Fill a large pot with water. Place the pot on the stovetop and bring it to a steady boil. When you’re ready to use Hot Knife, simply dip the blade into the boiling water and hold it there for 10 to 20 seconds. Be careful. With Hot Knife, the knife will become very hot!

Use Hot Knife to slice through that ice cold stick of butter. Place a pat of butter onto your bread. Slowly and patiently spread the butter and let Hot Knife work its magic!

Watch that butter go from firm and inflexible to soft, gooey, and delicious in just a matter of seconds! Spread it around and soon you’ll be enjoying your million and first grilled cheese sandwich of this pandemic. 

Only this time, the bread will be whole and intact. And this time, you won’t have to scrape and scrub the pan afterward!

Use Hot Knife any time you please. Simply keep that pot boiling on the stovetop 24 hours a day. Soak, slice, spread, and savor a piping hot, perfectly prepared grilled cheese sandwich every time, thanks to Hot Knife! All yours for three easy installments of $19.95.

And that’s not all! If you order Hot Knife in the next thirty minutes, you’ll receive a free Hot Knife first aid kit! It comes with gauze, antibacterial ointment, bandages, and an ice pack in case you drop Hot Knife into the boiling water and try to fish it out with your bare hands. 

That’s right, three easy installments of $19.95 and you get Hot Knife and the Hot Knife first aid kit. You’ll be enjoying a million more grilled cheese sandwiches in no time!

Call today to order your very own Hot Knife and Hot Knife first aid kit! Operators are standing by. 

Bread, butter, cheese, cookware, and stove sold separately. 

Warning: Hot Knife is the idea of someone who has spent an entire year at home with three small children and has very few things to do other than make grilled cheese sandwiches. The maker of Hot Knife may not be thinking straight all the time. 

Consult with a home safety expert before leaving a boiling pot of water on the stove all day long. Do not leave boiling pots of water unattended. 

Hot Knife may not be suitable for children or adults. Call 911 immediately if you or someone you know is injured by Hot Knife. 

Finally, hurry up and get vaccinated so we can all leave the house again occasionally and escape the ravages of Hot Knife. 

Hot Knife is a registered trademark of Hot Knife Enterprises. All rights reserved.