Chicken Soup For the Capitol Rioter's Soul

Jerry McFaul's beard was covered with white foamy spittle by the time President Trump was finished delivering his formal address at the fascist white supremacist rally near the Capitol on January 6, 2021.

Jerry had been barking and shouting in response to the president's calls for violent sedition. He was pumped up. He was going to fight to take his country back from the vile malefactors who dared to outnumber him with their votes.

"Here's a towel you can clean yourself up with," said a nice old lady who was standing nearby. She set down her can of bear spray and taser so she could take off her backpack and fish out a clean hand towel, which she handed to Jerry.

"Gotta look presentable when we get in that chamber and put some heads on pikes," said Jerry.

"Yes, indeed," said the old lady.

“Here,” said Jerry, holding the towel out after wiping himself off.

“Keep it,” she said. “I don’t want your damn corona.”

A few hours later, Jerry was taking a dump under the Capitol dome, right there on the marble floor, when he saw the old lady once again. She was bear-spraying a Capitol cop who was standing in the way of Donald Trump's master plan.

That's when Jerry realized he had seen that woman before. She was KKK grand wizard David Duke's dear old mother. “Wow,” he said to himself.

He proceeded to wipe himself with the white hand towel she had given him. But nothing will wipe away the memory of her kindness on that day of treason, treachery, and horrific violence, January 6, 2021.