A Statement from Statues Being Displayed (SBD)

I am honored to announce that my blog has been chosen to host an official statement from Statues Being Displayed (SBD), an organization dedicated to preserving all monuments to our nation’s past. If you happen to disagree with the statement, please let me know, but try not to make too big of a stink about it. Here it is:

Statues Being Displayed (SBD) is an organization dedicated to preserving all monuments to our nation’s past.

SBD laments the rude, objectionable noises being made in the streets of America today surrounding our statues.

SBD believes that statues should be peacefully and silently observed. So silent that no noise is made whatsoever.

SBD believes that destroying statues creates a foul stench in our culture which will linger for years and years.

SBD supports creating a secure perimeter around each of our statues, so that if anything vile and repugnant occurs, the statues will remain unbothered by the noxious happenings.

SBD believes that clearing the air through constructive dialogue is the best way to eliminate the objectionable odors that contaminate our nation’s discourse and cause us all to plug our noses in contempt.

SBD believes that removing statues does nothing to wipe away the troublesome stains of injustice and inequality. Those skid marks will remain until meaningful (not merely symbolic) actions are taken.

SBD believes that removing statues is an ill-conceived attempt to deodorize the gaseous malignancy that emanates from our nation’s putrid past. SBD strongly recommends lighting the match of solidarity, which will ignite real change, instead.

SBD decries the silent but deadly consequences of ignoring our nation’s history and heritage.

Finally, SBD urges those who wish to remove our statues to examine themselves and their own complicity in the ongoing ills that afflict our society. In other words, when it comes to sniffing out nastiness in our nation, it’s highly likely that whoever smelt it dealt it.