Sports Update: Ben Zobrist is the New "Milton" from "Office Space."
This is just weird. Star utility man Ben Zobrist is in the final year of his contract with the Cubs, scheduled to make $12 million this season. In May, he unexpectedly filed for a divorce from his wife and went on unpaid personal leave.
It's been four weeks. How long is a "divorce leave" supposed to last?
Now, it seems as if the Cubs would like Zobrist to stay on unpaid leave. This week, they spent what they would owe him (were he not on unpaid leave) when they signed star pitcher Craig Kimbrel. Last week, they picked up another utility man, Carlos Gonzalez.
Regarding Zobrist, Cubs GM Theo Epstein just announced, "He doesn't owe us anything."
Translation: "Please don't come back."
Translation: "We like not owing YOU anything from here on out."
If you think I'm reading too much into Epstein's comment, here's what I think he would say if he WANTED to have his 2016 World Series MVP come back: "We're deeply concerned about his family situation. He's had some time away to work through it. We really miss what he brings to the team, we need him for the stretch run, and hopefully he'll be back soon." Epstein didn't say any of that.
What he did say was, “He doesn’t owe us anything.”
Epstein is getting rid of Zobrist like Lumbergh got rid of Milton in "Office Space."
First, Lumbergh had the accounting department stop giving Milton a paycheck. Then, he took away Milton's prized stapler. It was a Swingline. Then, Lumbergh moved a bunch of boxes into Milton's cubicle, pushing his desk back uncomfortably close to the cubicle wall. Finally, Lumbergh moved Milton's cubicle down to the basement. He gave him a flashlight and a can of roach spray and left him to fend for himself.
Lumbergh thought that if he made Milton more and more miserable at work, eventually he would quit, saving Lumbergh from having to fire him.
The Zobrist situation is just like the Milton situation.
Zobrist is 38, playing in the last year of his deal. He’s making a lot of money for an older utility guy. He’s popular with fans, but how much is he really going to help the Cubs win this year? At this stage of his career?
Suddenly, the Zobrist divorce papers were filed. The media was all over it (his wife is a famous musician and author). The Cubs allowed him some time away from the team. Given that they weren’t paying him, they were comfortable with an extended absence.
“People’s family and personal lives come first,” said Cubs GM Theo Epstein.
“At times like this it’s important to be empathetic and put yourself in the other person’s shoes. And that’s what we’ve chosen to do,” said Epstein.
The Cubs were all about giving him time, letting him sort out his life, and so on.
Meanwhile, they signed a guy who does what Zobrist does (Carlos Gonzalez) and they took the same amount of money that they would have been paying Zobrist this year, and gave it to Craig Kimbrel, whom they desperately need as a closer.
I don’t know what the Cubs are communicating to him privately, but publicly, they are clearly NOT clamoring for him to return, nearly a month into his absence. Like Milton, Zobrist’s paycheck has been cut off and his cubicle has been filled.
As Cubs manager Joe Maddon said this week, "We have to be prepared mentally that he’s not going to (be back)." He might as well have followed that up by winking and saying, “Hint! Hint!”
Is this really how the Cubs are going to say goodbye to one of their most popular players? The guy who drove in the go-ahead run late in Game 7 in their first World Series championship since 1908?
Are they going to try to hurt his pride enough that he just walks away? Is the plan to emphasize to him, over and over, how he needs to work out his personal life, until one day he’ll turn around and realize that the season’s over and he’s missed out on four-fifths of his money for 2019? From what I can tell, this is the Cubs’ plan. It’s not a great one, but it’s a plan.
In other news, starting next season, Cubs ownership (the Ricketts family) is putting all games behind a paywall on cable TV. And this weekend, the Ricketts are hosting a big Trump donor gathering at Wrigley.
Put one of your most popular players out to pasture. Take all future Cubs games off of free TV. Turn a homestand at Wrigley Field into a big party for Trump donors. (I find nothing wrong with Republicans going to a ballgame. I just question the wisdom of aligning a sports franchise with a political party, especially in a city that votes heavily for Democrats.)
“Office Space” ended with Initech’s building burning to the ground. Is the Ricketts family trying to do the same thing to the Cubs franchise? Asking for a friend.
