Welcome to Our Ham Sandwich Commercial

If you’re like me, you spent a sizable chunk of your weekend watching ham sandwich commercials. Jersey Mike’s, Subway, and Jimmy John’s are the Big Three. Every once in a while, you’ll see one from Arby’s or Hardee’s.

A lot of companies are selling ham sandwiches. In the year 2019, we may be reaching “peak ham sandwich.”

To commemorate this moment in history, I have composed a sendup of those fine works of art: the ham sandwich commercials.

Look at these slices of ham. And this bread.  Welcome to our ham sandwich commercial.

If you come into our store, we can make you a ham sandwich.  We will take out some bread.  We will slice it.  We will put ham inside the bread.  This is the ham sandwich we plan to sell to you.

All you have to do is locate our store.  Enter the front door.  Approach the counter and tell us that you want a ham sandwich.

We will prepare the ham sandwich specially for you.  If you like finely shredded iceberg lettuce, we will sprinkle some of that on there.  Oil and vinegar?  Mustard?  Mayonnaise?  Cheese?  We have three types of cheese: orange, yellow, and white.  

Please tell us which of these ingredients you would like to add to your ham sandwich.  We will put those on there for you.  Oh yeah, and we have sliced tomatoes.

You will like our ham sandwich.  We are very excited to make you one.  We will wrap it up in paper and hand it to you.  All you have to do is give us money.  Then you can sit down somewhere and eat the ham sandwich.

Come try our delicious ham sandwich.  It is soft and chewy and it will fill up your tummy for approximately four hours.  At that time, we recommend you eat another ham sandwich.  

So, next time you feel hungry, leave your bread in the kitchen cabinet.  Leave your ham in the refrigerator. Don’t burden yourself.  We can make that ham sandwich for you.  All you have to do is come see us.  We will do the hard work so you can enjoy a ham sandwich.  

This has been our ham sandwich commercial.  Thank you very much for supporting our business that sells ham sandwiches.