Here is my idea for a great new movie, “Economies of Scale”:

A recently laid off economist snags a job aboard a fishing boat in Maine. Finding she can’t catch a fish to save her life, she instead helps the boat’s crabby owner revamp his business model. 

When a large multinational conglomerate arrives in town, the small fishing outfit is in for the fight of its life. The company’s charismatic billionaire CEO tries to gut the competition by luring away their prized catch (the economist) with a tropical vacation and a lucrative job offer. She goes on the vacation, but remains undecided about the job offer. 

This causes the small time fisherman to confess his true feelings for her. But their conversation is interrupted by news that the largest fish in recorded history has been spotted swimming off the coast. 

The billionaire CEO and the small time fisherman agree that whoever catches it gets to stay in town, while the other person has to leave forever.

While they’re out chasing the fish in the midst of a furious storm, the economist borrows a boat of her own. She goes out and miraculously hooks and reels in the fish. This means she gets to choose who stays and who goes. She picks the small time fisherman. 

The rich guy says, “Why’d you pick him?” 

She says, “It’s because you and I went to high school together, and this whole time, you’ve never recognized me. You sat next to me in Calculus senior year. You looked over my shoulder and copied my test answers. You got an A in Calculus and got into Harvard. I got wait listed and ended up going to state school.”

The rich guy says, “Oh, yeah. I thought you looked familiar.” He gets into his waiting limousine and leaves town.

The small time fisherman says, “How’d you do it? How’d you hook that enormous fish?” 

She points over at the fish scale, where the 25-foot fish is hanging. 

He says, “What? I don’t understand.” 

She walks over and points at the dial, which reads only 10 pounds. 

He says, “How is that possible?” Then he wraps his arms around the fish and hoists it up into the air. It’s as light as a feather. 

“Do you like my papier mache fish?” she asks. 

He laughs and says, “C’mon, let’s get out of here.” 

They go out to dinner at a fancy, white tablecloth restaurant.

Roll credits.

[We never find out how she made the papier mache fish, when she made it, or how she left port without it and then came back with it. It’s an unsolved mystery.]

Preview of Part II: She tries again to catch the enormous fish and she also uses her knowledge of economics to save the global economy from the crippling recession caused by the coronavirus and other factors.