JUDY MIKOVITS [SITTING BEHIND A DESK, STARING DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA]

Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the COVID-19 virus, for that is why you and I have been spending our lives indoors, avoiding physical contact with others. And remember my friend, the COVID-19 virus will continue to affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable origins of this virus. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of how it came to be. We are giving you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimonies of people who may or may not be real medical professionals. The incidents, the places, my friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty, let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about government scientists from outer space?

[TWO MEN INSIDE SPACE STATION]

MESSENGER: Your leading scientists have returned from Earth. 

MICROSOFT FOUNDER BILL GATES: Send them in.

[ENTER DR. ANTHONY FAUCI AND DR. DEBORAH BIRX]

BILL GATES: You have your report?

DR. FAUCI: We had to pull in here to Space Station 7 for regeneration. We're returning to the planet Earth immediately thereafter.

BILL GATES: What progress has been made?

DR. BIRX: We contacted President Trump. He refuses to believe that the COVID-19 virus is truly dangerous. He wants to reopen the economy immediately.

BILL GATES: We must convince everyone that the virus we created is very dangerous. I want all economic activity on Earth to stop indefinitely. What plan will you follow now?

DR. FAUCI: Plan 9. It's been absolutely impossible to work through President Trump. He is much too intelligent to be fooled.

BILL GATES: Plan 9... ah, yes. Plan 9 deals with the brainwashing of government scientists. Long-distance electrodes shot into the pituitary glands of unsuspecting government scientists. Have you attempted any of this plan as yet?

DR. BIRX: Yes, Excellency. 

BILL GATES: How successful has it been?

DR. FAUCI: We have brainwashed two so far. We shall be just as successful on more.

BILL GATES: The freedom-loving public... they have no suspicion of your movements?

DR. BIRX: We had to dispose of one Fox and Friend. However, neither of the brainwashed scientists have been discovered. At least, not by anyone who still remains alive.

BILL GATES: It's too bad it must be handled this way. However, it must. Those we brainwash will lead the way for our other operations.

DR. FAUCI: Yes, Excellency.

BILL GATES: Continue on. Report to me in two Earth days.

[INSIDE A GOVERNMENT SCIENCE LABORATORY]

SCIENTIST #1 [LOOKING THROUGH A STACK OF PAPERS]: The opinions are coming in from bloggers, politicians, and lockdown protestors all over the country. Hydroxychloroquine is by far the best drug for treating COVID-19. We have to push hydroxychloroquine from here on out in this pandemic. It’s our only hope. What do we have to lose?

 SCIENTIST #2 [WEARING A MEDICAL FACE MASK]: This isn’t good. The longer I wear this mask, the sicker I feel. The mask is forcing me to breathe back in my own viruses. That can’t be good, right? The mask is activating the viruses against me! Get it off! [RIPS OFF MASK] 

SCIENTIST #3 [RUMMAGING AROUND IN A CLOSET FULL OF LAB SPECIMENS AND EQUIPMENT, THEN EMERGING WITH A DUSTY PILL BOTTLE]: Look! This must be the 100 year-old anti-viral medicine that cures autism! I found it! We’re going to get this drug back on the market as soon as possible!

SCIENTIST #4 [CLOSELY INSPECTING TEST TUBES CONTAINING VARIOUS HERBS AND LIQUID CONCOCTIONS]: This is truly unexpected. I’ve been staring at these samples, and I’m starting to think that the natural remedies are just as effective as prescription drugs when it comes to treating diseases. I need to start getting the word out about natural remedies!

[ENTER TWO ZOMBIE-LIKE, BRAINWASHED SCIENTISTS]

DR. RICK BRIGHT: Hold it right there! We’re shutting this lab down. Get rid of that hydroxychloroquine. Flush it all down the toilet. We’re going with Remdesivir to deal with this pandemic.

SCIENTIST #1: Why?

DR. RICK BRIGHT: Because we said so, that’s why! We’re just a bunch of meanies. And if you prescribe hydroxychloroquine for an unapproved use, we’ll have your medical license revoked!

SCIENTIST #1 [GASPS]

DR. NANCY MESSONIER: And guess what? We’re mandating that everyone wear a mask when they go out in public during this pandemic.

SCIENTIST #2: You can’t do that! People will breathe in their own viruses and get sick!

DR. NANCY MESSONIER: Look at me. Does it look like I care one bit about that?

DR. RICK BRIGHT: Now, hand over that anti-viral medicine that cures autism. I work on behalf of Bayer and Monsanto, and we want that miracle drug off the market permanently. For financial reasons.

SCIENTIST #3: But wouldn’t Bayer and Monsanto make a lot of money if they sold a cure for autism?

DR. RICK BRIGHT: Explain to me how that makes any sense whatsoever.

SCIENTIST #3: It… 

DR. RICK BRIGHT: Get out of my face! I don’t want to hear it.

DR. NANCY MESSONIER: Finally, you can forget about your precious “natural remedies.” They’re the world’s best kept secret. By that, I mean that people all over the world use them. The problem is, you can’t put a patent on a natural remedy. Big pharma can’t make big profits from natural remedies. I’m shutting down that idea right now.

SCIENTIST #4: You can’t do this to us. You can’t do this to our country. Without these highly dubious scientific "discoveries,” we’ll be helpless against COVID-19. The pandemic will go on forever and it will destroy our economy.

DR. RICK BRIGHT: That’s exactly what we want, you imbecile. We want the virus to destroy the economy. It’s the master plan that our bosses Dr. Fauci, Dr. Birx, and Bill Gates have hatched.

SCIENTIST #1: You mean, two lifelong public servants? And a man who has given billions of dollars to charity? Their goal, after decades of public service and charity work, is to unleash a deadly virus that kills hundreds of thousands of people and destroys the economy?

DR. RICK BRIGHT: Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha!

SCIENTIST #2: We’ll stop you!

[AN ALL-OUT BRAWL BREAKS OUT. LAB EQUIPMENT GETS SHATTERED, FURNITURE IS THROWN, A CONTROL BOARD EMITS SPARKS BEFORE BURSTING INTO FLAMES. THE SCIENTISTS PUT UP A TOUGH FIGHT, BUT DR. BRIGHT AND DR. MESSONNIER PREVAIL IN THE END. DR. FAUCI AND DR. BIRX ARRIVE IN A FLYING SAUCER TO PICK THEM UP. AS THE SCIENCE LAB GOES UP IN FLAMES, THEY ALL FLY OFF TO THE SPACE STATION TO REPORT THEIR SUCCESS TO BILL GATES, LAUGHING ALL THE WAY.]

JUDY MIKOVITS [SITTING BEHIND A DESK, STARING DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA]

My friend, you have seen this incident based on sworn testimony. Can you prove that it didn't happen? Perhaps on your way home, you will pass someone in the dark, and you will never know it, for they will be government scientists from outer space. Many people believe that another world is watching us this moment. We once laughed at the horseless carriage, the aeroplane, the telephone, the electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television! And now some of us laugh at the idea of government scientists from outer space. God help us... in the future. 

The End