Get ready for the ultimate comeback.  No, not a comeback in this Sunday’s football game.  It’s a different kind of comeback—a comeback that you’re guaranteed to hear when anyone at your Super Bowl party dares to criticize a TV commercial as “dumb” or “annoying.”  

The comeback is this: “Well, you’re talking about it right now, so I guess it worked.” 

Wait. Listen.  You’ll hear it.  In fact, no-- why don’t you, yes you, make doubly sure that you are the smart aleck who uses that insanely witty and prescient remark first?  Practice your line.  Be ready. Work on your tone of voice, as well, and make sure you sound sufficiently condescending.    

TV ads—the second biggest attraction on Super Bowl Sunday, just behind the game itself and just ahead of the halftime show.  

Of course, when you’re talking about new TV ads, some will be hits and some will be misses.  But all of them use certain tried and true gimmicks in an effort to making a lasting impression.  Here are some of the greatest gimmicks that have been used in TV commercials over the years.  

Gimmick 1:  Catchphrases

“I love you, man.”  

“Wazzzzzup!”  

“Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.”

“Aflac.” [said by a duck]

“Makin’ it great!”

“Food, Folks, and Fun.”

“Just do it.”

“Think different.”

“Better ingredients. Better pizza.”

“Can you hear me now?”*

A catchphrase can really burrow its way into your consciousness.  A truly memorable catchphrase can stay with you for decades, even after the ad campaign is finished.    

Look for any new catchphrases that might come out on Super Bowl Sunday.  Make sure that when someone points out how dumb or annoying a new catchphrase is, you respond with, “Well, you’re talking about it right now, so I guess it worked.”

Answer key: Budweiser, Budweiser, Geico, Aflac [duh], Pizza Hut, McDonalds, Nike, Apple, Papa John’s, Verizon

*Sprint recently hired the guy who used to say, “Can you hear me now?” on Verizon ads.  All I think about when I see him on the Sprint commercials, though, is the fact that he used to say, “Can you hear me now?” Which then causes me to think about Verizon.  At no point during his commercials do I think about Sprint, or what Sprint could offer me. Perhaps Sprint should drop the guy and try a different angle.  It’s like what would happen if Pizza Hut had Papa John on a commercial promoting Pizza Hut. It would be a Pizza Hut commercial, sure, but I would only be thinking of Papa John’s the whole time.

 

Gimmick 2:  Jingles 

“588-2300-Empire.”

“Nationwide is on your side.”

“Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it!”

“Coke is it!”

“Like Mike, I wanna be like Mike.”

 

If catchphrases have a tendency to burrow their way into your consciousness, then a memorable jingle possesses that same power, times a thousand.  Jingles are so powerful, they can even pop into your dreams, in the middle of the night.  

Out of nowhere, you wake up with “Nationwide is on your side,” ringing in your head, over and over.  That kind of thing does not happen with a mere catchphrase.  Only a jingle can do it.  And then you realize you have to pee.

Watch for how many commercials use jingles this Super Bowl Sunday, and if anyone comments about how dumb or annoying a jingle is, respond by saying, “Well, you’re talking about it right now, so I guess it worked.”

Everyone in the party will then mercilessly mock the person you just totally shut down.  They will laugh giddily at that person, then they will carry you off on their shoulders into the kitchen, where they will douse you with a 64 ounce bottle of Gatorade to celebrate the amazing quip you just made.

Answer key:  Empire Carpet, Nationwide Insurance [duh], McDonalds, Coke, Gatorade

 

Gimmick 3:  Celebrity Spokesperson

O.J. Simpson

Jared

Wilford Brimley

Bill Cosby

Michael Jordan

Danica Patrick

 

A famous person can often bring positive attention to a product.  It’s important for the spokesperson to fit the product’s image in a certain way.  They have to be a good match for the product.  Often, celebrity spokespeople fit certain products so well that they go on hawking those products for years and years.  

Other times, those celebrities get into legal trouble along the way and are asked to please never speak about the product again, thank you very much.  The above list is a testament to that.  

The next time someone at your Super Bowl party mentions a former celebrity spokesperson and their criminal record, make sure you respond by saying, “Yeah, even though they’re a criminal, now you’re talking about the product they used to endorse, so I guess the crime worked.” 

Sit back and enjoy the look of open-mouthed astonishment on that person’s face.  Bask in the glow of having won the argument.

Answer key:  Hertz Rent-A-Car, Subway, Liberty Medical, Jello, Nike-Gatorade-McDonalds-Ballpark Franks-Wheaties-Hanes, GoDaddy.com

 

Gimmick 4:  Use of Popular Songs

George Gershwin-- “Rhapsody in Blue”

The Turtles-- “So Happy Together”

The Romantics-- “What I Like About You”

Bob Seger—“Like A Rock”

Thin Lizzy—“The Boys Are Back in Town”

The Edgar Winter Group—“Free Ride”

The Beatles—“Getting Better” 

 

Many companies think, why not pony up a few bucks and get permission to use a pop song that everyone knows and loves?  The product will start flying off the shelves because it will now be associated with this cool, hip, timeless piece of pop culture. 

Also, the thinking goes, commercials can be such a bore to watch, and people will be much more likely to sit through a commercial if it’s got a snazzy pop song playing in the background. 

The problem is, using a pop song in a commercial isn’t as great a gimmick as you might imagine.  For one, it can often ruin the song.  “Free Ride” and “Getting Better” are two primary examples.  They’re solid songs, but they’re forever tainted by association with so many crappy ad campaigns.  

I’m sure the artists aren’t complaining, as they’ve made tons of money off the songs as a result. But still.  People don’t like having classic songs ruined.  And when classic songs get ruined, there’s a good chance that people are going to hold a grudge against the companies that ruined the songs. That can’t be good for business.

Another problem is that these classic songs are often so transcendently attention-grabbing, they distract all attention away from the product that’s being advertised.  Look at the above list of songs.  Off the top of my head, I can only match one of those songs with the product it advertised.  It’s “Like a Rock” and Chevy trucks.  That’s an obvious one because the ad campaign went on for decades.  Also, pre-Chevy commercials, “Like a Rock” wasn’t altogether that famous of a song (it reached #12 on the Billboard charts in 1986).

The other six songs? I can tell you for sure I’ve heard those songs on commercials, but I couldn’t tell you what the products were.  “Rhapsody in Blue” was definitely for an airline, but which one?  “The Boys are Back in Town” and “What I Like About You” were for beer, but which one? “So Happy Together” was for a baking mix, right?  “Getting Better” and “Free Ride” seem like they’ve been used so many times, I couldn’t even begin to guess which products used them.

In conclusion, using pop songs in commercials is expensive, ruins the song, and doesn’t cause you to remember the product unless the ad campaign lasts for decades.  It’s the worst of all worlds.  No one should use famous pop songs in commercials.

Answer key:  United Airlines, Golden Grahams cereal, Bud Light, Chevy Trucks, Miller Genuine Draft, Ford, Phillips light bulbs

 

Gimmick 5: Before/After, Side-by-Side Comparisons

This is always an effective angle to take.  If we’re going to go out and buy some new product, we want to see how it stacks up against “Brand X” or whatever else is out there.  We want to see what a difference it can make in our lives to own and use this special product.

Instead of quizzing you on some of the classics of this genre, I’ll go ahead and list the three best commercial ad campaigns of all time that fall within this category.

#3:  Denorex.  How good is this dandruff shampoo?  Here, we’ll show you.  Get your hair wet.  Lather up one side of your head with the leading dandruff shampoo.  Now lather up the other side of your head with Denorex. Notice any difference?  The Denorex tingles!  (And that’s a good thing, we promise!)  

To me, that side-by-side comparison gimmick clinched it.  If I ever end up buying a dandruff shampoo, Denorex will be my go-to choice.  I want to experience the tingle for myself.  I need to experience the tingle.  That’s how I will know it’s working! 

#2:  Pine Sol.  Did you notice how nasty that kitchen floor looks?  Somebody walked on it with muddy boots, the dog came through and left paw prints, somebody dropped a bowl full of spaghetti and meatballs on the floor and didn’t clean it up that well.  The kitchen linoleum is a mess.  But if you just mix a little Pine Sol into a bucket of warm water, take a sponge mop and go to town?  That mop soaked in Pine Sol will leave behind a trail of sparkly clean whiteness, cutting right through the grime!  With basically no hard core scrubbing on your part, your kitchen floor will shine, and Pine Sol will have done all the work for you!  

 I’ve never bought Pine Sol, but I remain firmly convinced of its extraordinary cleaning power. 

#1:  Afrin Nasal Spray.  Hey, here’s a random guy walking down a snowy street in the dead of winter.  Let’s talk to him and find out if he has a cold.  He does.  Blindfold him.  Test his nose by holding a cut slice of orange under it.  Nestle the orange slice right in there with his mustache.  Can he tell what’s under his nose?  No, he can’t.  He’s too congested to be able to breathe through his nose.  Let’s find out if Afrin can help.  One squirt up each nostril and we’re good to go.  Now hold the orange up to his nose again.  Nestle it right in there with his mustache.  “It’s an orange,” he declares, proudly.  

This commercial proved once and for all that Afrin is an amazing product that will absolutely change your life!  This is the best commercial of all time for the Before/After, Side-by-Side Comparison category!  

I am not entertaining any counter-arguments on this one.  The case is closed and Afrin is the winner.  No one is talking me out of my decision, which is final.  I have never bought Afrin, but if I ever find myself disturbingly unable to detect the odor of an orange, I am going to go out right away and buy some. 

 

Two Newer Trends in Advertising:

“Group of Average People Gathered in a Room and You Reveal Something Surprising to Them”—This is what Chevy has been doing, ad nauseum, and what Progressive Insurance spoofed, quite entertainingly.  

This genre of commercial seems to have its roots in the home makeover TV show.  It’s the “big reveal” part of the show, where the homeowners get to look at their newly remodeled, open concept house for the very first time, complete with subway tile backsplash, some classy stools at the kitchen counter, and a long dining room table sitting adjacent to the sectional couch. The real-life, down to earth homeowners shed tears of joy, hugging and scampering throughout the house, admiring all the new features but also trying to figure out which closet is currently holding all their books, children’s toys, remote controls, phone chargers, Kleenex boxes, change jars,  and all the other things they use every day that will soon ruin the pristine appearance of their new minimalist home.  

The “big reveal” is the climax of the home makeover TV show, the part we wait thirty to sixty minutes for. Chevy figured, why not make a big reveal on every commercial?  And the big reveal will be one of our cars.  

It just doesn’t quite work. The reason the big reveal is usually exciting is because something has undergone a makeover.  The Chevys are probably newly redesigned, but they don’t really look that much different from the old Chevys.  So the climax the commercial hopes to create is actually anticlimactic.  

The guy who plays the part of “host” is perfectly fine—he’s not really annoying or anything—but the commercial format isn’t quite working for me.  

Still, give Chevy credit for two things.  One, they are sticking with it.  They made a decision to run “big reveal” ads and they’re going to keep doing it.  Maybe they’ll eventually find the key to unlocking this format and making it more interesting.  Who knows?

Secondly, at least Chevy isn’t running the typical car ads where—get this—and we’ve all seen this a million times before—there’s a car.  Are you still with me?  There’s a car, and get this.  It’s driving down the street.  But hold on, it’s not just any street.  It’s a curvy street!  Wow!  Isn’t it exciting?  It’s a car, and it turns, which probably means it has a steering wheel! Haven’t you always wanted to own a car with a steering wheel?

Give Chevy credit, then, for at least shaking up the normal format for car commercials.

 

Here’s the second “newer” trend in TV commercials.  The celebrity lookie-likey.  Hey, that looks like Brad Pitt.  Is it Brad Pitt?  Then you spend the entire commercial waiting to see if the guy will talk, then you’ll be able to figure out if it’s really Brad Pitt.  But why would Brad Pitt be on a commercial for Hillshire Farms?  Yeah, that last camera angle shows that it’s definitely not Brad Pitt.  But now you’ve watched their whole commercial, unmuted, no less.  And they’ve won.  

The celebrity lookie-likey gimmick in commercials is quite effective.  Because the uncertainty compels you to watch, and because they save money on the commercial by not having to pay the actual celebrity.

 

In conclusion, make sure you watch out for all of these gimmicks in the new Super Bowl ads that will air during the game Sunday.  And when someone criticizes an ad, make sure you use that tried and true, hilariously witty comeback before anyone else has a chance to.  

“Well, you’re talking about it right now, so I guess it worked.”

P.S. Bonus material coming up.  I have to include one more thing.  

The winner for BEST COMMERCIAL OF ALL TIME goes to, drumroll please…

“My Buddy.”  

This isn’t just a doll. No sir, says the commercial for My Buddy, this isn’t just a little boy doll dressed in overalls, sneakers, and a baseball cap.  And no, it’s not the kind of doll that just sits around the house and you pick it up and play with it every once in a while.  This is My Buddy.  You take him outside.  You take him down the slide.  You take him with you up into your tree fort.  You take him on the swing.

And he’s got a theme song! “My Buddy, My Buddy, wherever I go, he goes!  My Buddy, My Buddy, My Buddy and me!”   

This wasn’t just any old doll.  This was a doll shoved into the American psyche by sheer force of will.  The repeated airings of the same commercial over and over, all day every day for years on end.  The simple but catchy jingle.  The exciting action shots of the little boy taking My Buddy on all kinds of adventures.  And the easy spin-off for girls, “Kid Sister.”  

My Buddy was marketing genius.  I never did own a My Buddy.  But every time I go down a slide by myself, I think of My Buddy.  And I wish he was with me.

Best commercial ever. 

Thanks for reading!